Anyone who knows me knows how extremely particular I am. I don’t take decisions lightly, and agonize over the smallest of details. Imagine someone like this in a bridal shop. On top of all that, I have, like we all do, a large amount of insecurities and found myself very discouraged so many times while dress shopping.
While I haven’t shared much of the internal struggle (even with my family & friends), I wanted to share it here first because I hope it can help a bride or someone who shops with a bride understand these feelings a little better. It’s okay to have these feelings, because in the end – you find it. You find THE ONE. More on that later. For now, here were my top discouraging thoughts I experienced while wedding dress shopping.
Everyone is going to think I look like a child playing dress-up.
This was probably the thing I worried about the most while thinking of my dress/shopping. A huge insecurity of mine is how young I look. Just about everyone thinks I’m between the ages of 14-17, and I didn’t want people to think I looked like a little girl playing dress up on my wedding day. This was one of the reasons I strayed away from something with a large skirt. While it was extremely flattering, I felt like I looked even younger than I was and I wasn’t a fan.
Nothing is going to fit my body type right.
I have a very small frame. I always have been petite and always have had trouble finding things that fit me properly. I almost burst into tears multiple times because of how dwarfed and how strange dresses made my bust look.
When I found the dress I wore down the aisle, I knew it was the one because the parts of my body I loved were on full display, and the parts I don’t love looked amazing. It was like it was actually made for my body type.
Fun fact: my seamstress told me she had to take my dress apart and put it back together in order to get it to fit me properly. BUT, she did it. Which means, this can be done for you too!
Do I like this? Or do I like it because my friends are liking it?
My family and bridesmaids had something completely different in mind for my dress. I mean like polar opposite. I wanted fitted with sleeves. They saw me in strapless with a big skirt. When I came out in one dress they all loved (that I actually didn’t like at all in the fitting room), I started to try to convince myself that I liked it, that “it would work.”
STOP RIGHT THERE. It’s about YOU. Thankfully my friends and family were so supportive of that and fell in love with what I fell in love with. BUT, if you have to convince yourself something is right — it’s wrong.
This is hopeless.
No explanation needed.
Why does no one understand what I’m describing?
OMG. This poor woman has no idea what I’m asking for. Do they even design what I’m asking for? This is insane, does what I want even exist?
That was my internal thought process when things would be brought to my fitting room that were the polar opposite of what I was looking for. In all honesty, it was best I tried on ones I knew I’d hate to prove how much I really loved what I chose. I just had to look back at all the horrible ones I tried on before finding it to remind me just how perfect it was.
I can’t see spending this much on a gown I’ll wear once.
Basically thought this about every single thing while planning my wedding. But I eventually got over it when I realized, omg this is the best day of my entire life. My mom also helped with this and was so encouraging.
My groom won’t think I look pretty.
This will for sure ruffle my husbands feathers now that I am saying it out loud, but I would be lying if I said this thought never crossed my mind. I thought he would also think I looked childish and not like a woman capable of being his wife.
I know it’s so silly to think this way, but Todd not loving the way I looked scared me more than all of my other internal thoughts combined. I was walking down the aisle to him to vow my life to him forever, and I wanted to be sure he loved the way I looked walking towards him. (It didn’t help that he always said he saw me in something strapless)
After reading all that. I am ecstatic to tell you just how much I ended up loving my dress. It was the second-to-last dress I tried on in the last store we had an appointment at. It was perfect. It was everything I wanted in so much more. Everyone cried. And the thing that got me the most was when my [now] mother-in-law told me without me even asking her, “Todd is going to love it.”
I’m not going to tell you to not get discouraged while shopping, because that is an unrealistic expectation. However, don’t let those discouraging thoughts let you lose hope. It’s not hopeless, no matter how much it may feel like it. Own your insecurities and find a dress that makes the best versions of yourself shine. Just like your future husband, your dress should bring out the best version of you.
Shopping for my dress was a hard and emotional experience, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. As hard as it was going through it, it made me fall in absolute love with my dress and really appreciate it so much more. I have my friends, family, and groom to thank for making me feel as confident as possible on my wedding day. I truly looked and felt the best I have ever felt.
Good luck, & happy shopping!
xoxo,
Savannah Jayne
Dress Shop: Merlili Bridal Boutique
Dress: Jasmine Bridal (color: ivory/ivory)
Florals: South Florals Weddings & Events
Photography: Laura Memory Photography
Only fair to share!
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